Just Me LMJ

I know I have written for a few days because I haven’t felt too good.  Last Thursday was okay but Friday wasn’t so hot and since Sunday, I have spent quite a bit of time on the couch.  I have been experiencing heartburn (Sunday was pretty bad) and my stomach has been hurting so much I hate to move.  Yesterday before I took a shower, I laid on my bathroom floor for about 15 minutes, just to get enough zip to get up.  Chemo is making my nose and eyes dry.  I can’t believe how little energy I have and how blah I feel.

I am finally starting to feel better today (not much)…and tonight I made over an hour trip one way to watch a Volleyball sectional game.  Unfortunately, Jaylyn’s team lost.  I refused to stay home and let chemo/cancer win but I seriously thought about it….that is how bad I felt.  For those of you who know me well, you know I had to feel bad if I was thinking of missing a game.

I’m going to try to go to work tomorrow….at this point not sure how long I’ll be able to work but I’m hopeful that each day I will get better.  Unfortunately, next Wednesday will be here before I know it ugh…I’m not looking forward to it.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers….

Love, Lori

Well this doesn’t have to do with breast cancer but I thought everyone might enjoy. Sorry to the people that have slow internet. These videos probably don’t work too well. Happy Halloween.

Well my sister got a shirt for some girls on the U of I campus. They were selling them for breast cancer month. I’m sure my mom can fill in all the details. But I took a picture of the front and back of the shirt. I think it’s great. Some people at the school didn’t see the humor in it. But they should at least see the meaning of the shirt, to spread awarness about breast cancer. And what spreads awarness more than a catchy saying.

Below is the front of the shirt:

Below is the back of the shirt:

I hope you enjoy,

Jeremy

Well during this whole thing I know that my mom has spent a lot of time online looking for information. It is hard sometimes to search through hundreds of sites just cause they mention the word “breast cancer” in it. Well I’m starting a little project that will search just sites that have good information on it. I have read through some articles and added a few websites. I think right now as I typed this I have 11 websites that it is searching. I’m hoping to do a lot better than that. So I ask everyone that comes here to submit a URL to me. I’m sure you have searched for some information on breast cancer. So what I ask is that if you come across a good site with some good information on it send me an email to url@justmelmj.com. It shouldn’t take long but it will really help others when trying to search for information. If you would like to try out the breast cancer search just click on the link on the right. Remember there are only 11 sites on the list right now. It will get better the more sites we get.

Jeremy

I haven’t written for a few days because everything is going fairly well. A few annoying side effects but overall okay. I worked most of last week and showed my hats and bald head to my co-workers.

My wonderful son, Jeremy, set this site up for me and I received many positive comments on this site. I know that my family, friends, co-workers, and many others have passed this site on to their friends, co-workers, etc. and that the site receives several visitors a day. For that reason, I decided I needed to share the beginning of my cancer journey with you.

First a little background….my mom was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in approximately March 2000 (not sure of exact date). She elected to have a lumpectomy and radiation and then took the preventive cancer drug Tamoxifen. During a routine oncology check, in November, 2002, her cancer doctor didn’t like the look of her nipple of the same breast her cancer had been in. After a biopsy, she was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer, called Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Average life expectancy is 18 months but mom was a fighter and fought this cancer for 3 years. She passed away last December, 2005.

Now for me…in January, 2006, I went to my ob/gyn Advanced Nurse Practitioner for my yearly exam. A breast exam was done….nothing. I had a mammogram on March 10th. The mammogram showed an area in the right breast under the nipple that needed additional imaging. A second mammogram of the right breast was done on March 23rd and the questionable area under the nipple was labeled as benign tissue overlap (so otherwords fine). On June 13, 2006, I went to my Family Practice practitioner for my thyroid check-up and as part of her process she also did a breast exam….again nothing presented itself.

Approximately July 13th (1 month later) I found a lump in my right breast (same one that required a second mammogram in March). However, the lump was above the nipple (at about 10:00 if you were looking at my right breast as a clock). Now I was due to start my period the following week and my breasts always got a little swollen so I thought I would wait and see if it was still there after my period. Unfortunately, it was but we were out of town at a softball tournament and our first day back was July 31st. By this time the lump was obvious and could be seen by Jeff when he looked at my breast.

I had a mammogram on July 31st and immediately went for an ultrasound. July 31st was a Monday and we were leaving for California on Friday, August 4th. I mentioned this to the sonographer and told her I hoped I had my ultrasound results before I left. She asked me to wait while she looked at the films. Imagine my surprise when she came back with the Radiologist. The radiologist told me I needed a biospy and that she would work me in the next day if I wanted it done. I immediately said yes. I had a needle core biospy on Tuesday, August 1st.

My thoughts were that I had a little fibroid benign mass and I would elect to have it removed just to be safe. My results were not available on Thursday (my last day of work before vacation) and my Nurse Practitioner was going to be out of the office on Friday. I told her I would call from California and asked her to tell her co-workers that it was okay to give me the results. When we landed in California, we were hanging out in San Francisco (where my sister, Julie, works) until Julie got off work. By the time we landed and got to a point where I could call, it was after 2:00 in the afternoon back home and I knew I couldn’t wait too long. Before I made my call, Jeff asked if I was sure I wanted to call. I said that since 80% of breast masses are benign, why would I want to spend my vacation wondering what the results were. We hadn’t ate lunch yet so we were in a food court area. Jaylyn was getting her food, Jeff was getting our food and I went to the center area and made my phone call.
I received the news…invasive ductal carcinoma….positive for cancer!! Now some people might have broke down at this point but I didn’t. The doctor’s office made arrangements to contact me on Monday and I hung up. Now I had to make a quick decision, was I going to tell my hubby and daughter just as we started our vacation that I had cancer. I went to the table and acted as though nothing was going on. Jeff finally asked if I had talked to the doctor’s office. I remember thinking….I can’t tell him, not in front of Jaylyn….so I told him I hadn’t been able to reach them, that I had to leave a message. That worked for the moment.

We ate and proceeded to walk to the stores in the area. About an hour later, we were in a Jessica McClintock store and Jaylyn was trying on dresses. Jeff asked me if the doctor was suppose to call me back….I think I must have teared up because he looked at me and told me I had lied to him earlier…I knew the results, didn’t I? And that is how I told him….in a Jessica McClintock store. We quickly decided to not say anything to Jaylyn right then.

The rest of the afternoon, Jeff and I had hushed conversations whenever we could steal a moment when Jaylyn was occupied, trying to decide if we should say anything or not. I think Jaylyn suspected something was up but never said anything. That night, I told my sister Julie and Jaylyn while we were fixing supper. I called my son, Jeremy, and my other two sisters, Sue and Teri. My other son, Jason had left for the weekend so I called him on Sunday when he returned. Others were told when we returned from California. I said earlier that I didn’t break down when I got the news, but I woke up Saturday morning about 3:00 and it hit me. I woke Jeff up and just sobbed. I was 45 and I was too young to die! My mom had just died 8 months ago….this was too much, too soon. I couldn’t do this…Jeff was wonderful, calming me and telling me we were going to get through this…

I have had several other tearful moments but nothing like that breakdown. I think it was good that I found out the news in California. I spoke to my doctor’s office everyday making arrangments to meet the surgeon and cancer doctor on Thursday when I returned and I had my surgery a week later.

You might ask why I had both breasts removed??? My mom often wondered if she had had her breast removed (instead of a lumpectomy) if she would have gotten the second kind of cancer (since it was in the same breast). So that helped me make the decision to remove my right breast. The reason I took the left breast off is because I have dense breasts. On a mammogram, dense breasts make it hard for things to show up. My doctor said we could start doing MRIs on my left breast….but my question to him was how often was going to be often enough. I had two mammograms 4 months before I found my lump, I had a breast exam by a health care professional 1 month before I found my lump…..by the time I had my biopsy on August 1, my lump was over an inch in size…I was diligent about being checked but yet my lump was missed. I had both breasts removed because I didn’t want to have the additional worry about something else being missed….I wanted to do whatever I could to help me live longer.
I know this is a long post but thought it might be helpful to know the rest of the story…..

Love, Lori

Some people are getting a 404 error message. This is my fault that this is showing up. Because of the amount of visitors to the site I had to switch the server it was running on. Before it was running along with my personal site. To fix the problem click on www.justmelmj.com at the top of the page. It will then take you to the correct site. All the original info will show up. If you bookmarked the site you will need to update your bookmark. Tell everyone to go to www.justmelmj.com and then set the bookmark. Sorry for the problems.

In case you wondered the site gets about 40 visitors a day.

Jeremy

I waited a couple of days to post after my second treatment so I could let you know if this treatment was different. My sister, Teri, came down and took me for my lab work (through the port) and again the nurse had no trouble with that. Teri and I had a nice breakfast and then came back for my chemo. They adjusted the anti-nausea medicine and steriods. As you can see by the pictures Jeremy took, my nurse Deb, was administering the “Red Devil” drug. See all the heavy garb she wears. I got pretty tired during this treatment and Teri said my color went pale. I wasn’t too perky at all by the time I got home. The only real reaction I had on the day of treamtent after I got home was the tingling of my body. It lasted until Thursday morning.

On Thursday, since I had to go back for my shot, Teri offered to take me before she left for her home. So we met sister Sue for lunch and then got my shot. My hair is falling out and I gathered the hair that I lost in the shower and while I combed it. I showed my sister Teri, who did seem to have an astonished look on her face when she saw the amount. I also shared it with my family. They also seemed to have a mortified look on their faces. I just wanted to prepare them for what was happening. I wasn’t feeling horrible on Thursday but tired.

Friday morning I woke at 4:00 feeling queasy so I put my sea bands on my wrists (suggested by travelers to help with queasiness). I woke back up at 6:00 with a headache. I finally got up at 8:00 not feeling very well. I still had a headache, just felt blah and felt like I had a rock in the pit of my stomach. I forced myself to eat and take my anti-nausea medicines. In the afternoon, Vera came to the house and I had a Reiki therapy. In this therapy, the therapist places her hands in a series of very light touches at various positions on the body. It is not a massage but a channeling of life force energy to the recipient. I have never had such a therapy but found it very relaxing and believe I will try it again. I should have taken a nap as soon as she left because by 7:00, I was very, very tired. I still had hair but was thinning and I had a couple of patchy areas.
Saturday morning came and I decided I was done with messing with the hair. I knew by the time I took my shower it would look even worse so Jeff took me to get my head shaved. I had her take it as close to the scalp as she could without actually shaving the head so I have some nubs. Although I knew I would lose my hair, seeing it come out the last few days has been a little traumatic for me. I have not yet lost my eyelashes or eyebrows but imagine I will lose them at some point. I showed my family my nubby head. I even showed my Dad when he stopped by. Luckily he had been told ahead of time about me shaving my head, but he still looked surprised.

It is one thing to say you have cancer, and telling people you have cancer, but now with no hair, it is like annoucing it to everyone…there is no hiding the fact…I have cancer.

As always, I appreciate all your support, encouragement and prayers.

Love, Lori

I went to visit my mom today during her second treatment. I took some pictures of the process. You can see the red liquid in the needle. She will post later on all of the details.

Jeremy

I have been experiencing a somewhat normal life the past few days. I have been feeling pretty good since the middle of last week. I went to work on Thursday for 4 hours and Friday for almost 7 hours. Had a good weekend and yesterday spent the day in Mt. Zion at a volleyball tournament. Today I worked 8 hours. It is going to take me a few days at work to get back into the swing of things. I have a few annoying side effects but nothing that is keeping me down (unlike the first week after treatment). On Friday, I had a few mouth sores which I’m not sure was related to the chemo but could be. I also have had a little achiness. Again annoying but not horrible.
Tomorrow is my second treatment. I am not as nervous as I was before the first treatment. Since I had a reaction so quickly the doctor is going to adjust my meds tomorrow but I am still a little concerned about what is going to happen reaction wise.  My sister, Teri, has come down from Oregon (near Rockford) to take and sit with me during my treatment.  She is retired and I do appreciate her coming down to take me.
My hair has begun to fall out, not in big clumps but a few strands at a time. I refer to it as “thinning”. Today when I was blow drying my hair, I could see the strands flying through the air. I decided that maybe today should be my last day of blow drying…no point in hurrying the hair loss process. I’ll keep you posted on the hair loss…will it come out in clumps, all at once, I shall see.

Well I’ll try to post more in the next couple of days and let you all know how treatment two went.

Thanks for your support.

Love, Lori

My doctor’s appointment went well.  My blood pressure was down from previous visits (which I was glad to see).  We talked about all the different side effects I seemed to have and he is going to make some adjustments to the medicines he gives me the day of chemo…reducing the dosage of steriods.  The doctor decided that it would be okay for me to return to work, starting back part-time and see how I do.  I told him about my lack of energy and he told me that unfortunately that may continue and become worse during the treatment process.

It seems that everyday I seem to have a side effect.  For example, my teeth are achy.  I originally thought it was from the day of chemo when I had to eat something cold during a certain time of the process.  It has now been a week and my teeth still ache so I’m figuring it is a chemo reaction.  I mentioned it to the research person, Betsy, at the doctor’s office, and she chuckled.  She said she doesn’t hear that very often but has heard it.  When my mom was undergoing chemo, the family joked about all the unusual reactions she had…..I guess I am following in her footsteps.  The past couple of days, the side effects are just annoying…I’m still able to be functional.
My other problem is a lack of sleep.  For the past couple of days, I had been sleeping pretty well but last night I was up a lot and finally got up at 5:00…what is the point in fighting it?  Today I am going to work…but not until the afternoon so I can try to doze a bit still this morning.  I actually went the whole day yesterday without any nausea….yeah…real progress.

I’m looking forward to seeing everybody at work and trying to get back into the swing of a normal life…well as much as normal can be when you are undergoing chemo treatments.  Next Wednesday will be here soon enough but until then, I hope that each day I feel good and can be “normal”.

Thanks again for all your support, encouragement and prayers.

Love, Lori