Just Me LMJ

Well I had my post-op appointment and my pictures taken.  Not much has changed…my new right breast has hard areas and appears to be getting smaller.  I was told I could start wearing a bra as long as it has no underwire.  So I took Jaylyn and Sarah and off bra shopping we went.  Of course, they had fun just browsing the store.  For me, the experience wasn’t quite as fun.  I had a hard time determining what size of bra I needed.  After endless try-ons, I finally settled on a bra.  Still not totally sold on it but haven’t got the courage up yet to go back.

Last week I finally had my tooth removed by the oral surgeon.  I was so happy to finally have that taken care of.  I have been dinking around with that tooth since March (when I was told it wasn’t a dental issue).  Last Thursday and Friday, Jeff and I moved Jaylyn to college.  Hey, I kept it together, I only teared up a little as we were leaving.  We loaded up Jeff’s truck and her car and headed off.   Jaylyn will be living with 3 other softball girls in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment.  We stopped by the place a few weeks ago and the place really needed a painting.  The people who run it said the apartments wouldn’t be painted this year.  So Jeff being the great dad he is went down and painted the apartment and CLEANED it.  The apartment looked pretty good and move in went pretty quick.  Jaylyn seems to be doing good and as I said, I kept it together.  Now comes the time we find out if she listened to us all these years.

Today I went back to work.  It was good seeing everyone but oh my, it is going to take a few days to get back my working head back on.  It seems like so much has gone on that I feel very behind and my brain just isn’t working.  I think I am doing pretty well and even starting walking on a treadmill.  I’m trying to get my energy level back up.  I can’t do anything more than walk for a few more weeks and I have a 15 pound weight restriction.  I see my cancer doctor on Friday.  He should be taking me off Tamoxifen and onto something else.

At some point, well by the end of the year, I will have to follow up on my thyroid and my little head tumor, but for now, I just don’t want to think about it.

I’ll post again after my appointment on Friday.  As usual, I give you my thanks for all your support and encouragement.

Love, Lori

Yes that is right….one year ago today was when I received the news that I had breast cancer.  WOW…so much has happened this past year.  I feel like I am a changed person.  I am so thankful for all the support I and my family received.  There were times when I just didn’t think I could make it through that day (especially during chemo) and then there would be a pick me up from one of my angels.  It was so nice to have all of your support.

I know I will never be the same, the nagging that life can change in a moment, has encouraged me to embrace the small things in life.  I love my job and the people and company I work for but I love my life away from work more.  Stress I believe plays a part on a person’s health.  My plan is to find a good healthy balance between work and home.  My hubby and I have decided to sell our house and move to something smaller.  Now that our children are pretty much out of the house, we can move.  I’m not sure when we will be selling it but soon we hope.

Well I am now 6 weeks post op.  I return to the doctor next week.  They are going to take pictures (no face in the pictures).  My incisions are healing nicely but still look a little red and angry.  I am beginning to move easier.  I still am fidgety…if I sit too long in one position my stomach area lets me know so I need to stand up.  Clothes are still an obstacle for me.  Anything around the waist area is uncomfortable.  Not sure how I am going to work the clothes thing when I return to work.

Other than my right boob having a hard area, the boobs look okay.  They look like two little mounds on my chest.  They don’t look like my old boobs.  Even though they look different than I expected, I am glad for my two little mounds.  I wish my right boob didn’t have that hard area, but I can’t do anything about that.  I have just started doing my arm exercises (the ones I did after my masectomy) and still need to work on getting my right arm up over my head.  I still am pretty cautious about moving my arms.

The doctor told me it would be at least 3 months before I could do any strenous activity but that I could walk.  So this past week I have been walking on a treadmill for 30 minutes.  Now I’m not walking very fast but thought it would be a good idea to start building up my stamina.

I’ll post again after my doctors’ appointment.  Thank you for everything.  I’m hoping the next year is a lot less eventful than this past year.

Love you,  Lori

Well not exactly long flowing hair but I have hair…enough hair that today I went and had my first haircut in 11 months. It has been 4 months since my last chemo treatment (my how time flies) and my hair has been coming in pretty patchy. For a while I joked that I had a reverse Mohawk. I had one side of my head that appeared to be curly and the other side was stick straight. The hair definitely wasn’t growing in evenly. Also, it was coming in ALL gray. Now I had a few gray strands here and there but not entirely GRAY like now. So I also treated myself to a color. My hair color is not brown and not red but a combination of brown/red. I just told the lady to use her best judgement. She got out a bunch of color strands, held them up to my face, and even asked a co-worker. She liked this color cause she said it was a nice warm tone. Now my hair wasn’t too long so she couldn’t do too much to style it but she did shape it up. My family tells me it looks good. Both of my sons didn’t stare at me, or gasped when they saw me. My hair will continue to change in texture and color over the next several months as my cells repair themselves after the chemo so my hair will be a work in progress. It was fun to see what color I would be.

Well I saw my plastic surgeon today and although he seemed like it was no big deal, of course I am frustrated. It appears that my right breast is experiencing fat necrosis (the transplanted fat is dying). In several months, when everything is completely healed, he said he may have to go back in there surgically and remove the dead fat and may have to put in an implant. Ugh….I chose this procedure because I didn’t want implants and I didn’t want a bunch of surgeries. Time will tell what the finished product will be.
Frankly, I am getting quite fed up with everything that has gone on in my life during the last 11 months. Just when I think I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, something else happens. I knew there were risks with the surgery, but fat necrosis doesn’t happen that often. I researched this surgery, I talked with several people who had the surgery and not one of them mentioned their flap (boob) dying.

Well I have whined enough…after all what is done is done and I will just have to see what happens and continue to deal with that the best I can. I’m alive and considered cancer free….everything else is just a bump in the road.

And I do have short, not gray hair…..yeah!

Thanks for all your support.

Love you, Lori

Well it is done. I made it through the sugery. I must thank the manager of the recovery area because he was able to have my mediport accessed while still in the recovery room. I was able to use my port for my IV stuff while I was in the hospital. It greatly alleviated my anxiety. My hospital stay was fairly uneventful. My blood pressure dropped on Friday so I was constantly being checked and they pushed fluids.

For the first several days (couple of weeks) I need to remain in a flexed position (not lower than 30%) so I have been sleeping in a recliner. I also need to avoid repetitive movements (like knitting, typing on a keyboard, etc) so that the flaps (new boobs) won’t be stressed.

I originally had 4 drains, but had 1 removed before I left the hospital. I went on Monday and had 2 more removed. I go back to the doctor tomorow (already 2 weeks post op) and will have the final drain removed (hopefully). On Monday, the doctor removed all the steri-strips and told me to wear a panty gurdle but no bra yet.

We do have two big rules at my house: 1. Don’t make Mom laugh and 2. Don’t make Mom choke (leads to coughing). My hubby has trouble with rule number 1…do you know how difficult it is not to laugh or cough?

I have had a few people ask me about the results….for me it is still too early to tell. I still have a drain, walk bent over and am fairly bruised and discolored…yes I do have two mounds of tissues which are the new breasts which I think will be better than no breasts but I’ll still need a few weeks to fully appreciate what has been done to me.

I don’t quite understand what was done but I know the flaps (boobs) need to be kept warm and not stressed/compressed or the transplanted tissue could die. So of course, I am paranoid that I’m doing to much, moving my arms too much, and not staying warm enough. I don’t what to go through off of this and then lose the flaps. I know, I know, don’t worry….

I’ll keep you posted…in the meantime I’ll just be in the recliner being bored and sore.

Love ya, Lori

She called me on her way home which was about 3:30 today.  I went home after work to visit her.  She is sitting comfortably in the chair.  The only problem is she can’t do anything.  And I mean nothing.  I think the hardest thing for her is to sit there all day for the next 6 weeks.

I wanted to give everyone a little more info since she can’t get on the computer.

1.  She can get up and walk but she can’t stand up-right.  She walks bent over with a pillow on her stomach for support.

2.  She  got 1 of the 4 drains removed.  The 3 remaining were replaced with smaller bags so it isn’t so much to carry around.   She has a string around her neck that holds the drains up.

3.  She has to keep her feet up when she is sitting down.  So she needs to sit in the recliner.  The problem is she can’t really get out of the recliner by herself.

4.  She has to sleep in the recliner because she can’t lay flat.  Laying flat will pull on her stomach and all the stitches.  So she will have to get use to sleeping in the recliner for a couple of weeks.

I will not comment on the new breasts.  I will wait until she can use a computer to type about those.  There is something about talking about your moms breasts that is just strange.  I have been asked many times by people.

It seems that with this surgery that her spirits are higher.  I think it’s because this is like the final piece of the puzzle.  She is getting back what cancer took from her.  I’m happy with how well she is doing.  Thanks to everyone for your support through this whole thing.  I’ll post when I get some new information.

Jeremy

My mom might be coming home today. The PA is meeting her between 12 and 2 to see about releasing her. I haven’t talked to my mom today but last night she was doing good. She was sitting in the chair instead of the bed. I’ll have more information tonight for everyone. Hopefully she will make it home. She will still need a lot of help from the family when she does come home.

Jeremy

Things are going good with my mom.  She got all the tubes that were hooked up to her removed yesterday.  She has been getting out of bed and doing a little walking around.  She is bent over when she walks so it won’t hurt her stomach.  She is supposed to start eating solid foods today and she might be able to lower the temperature in the room.  I’m thinking she will be coming home tomorrow but we will have to wait to see what the doctor says.  I’m going over there after work so I will know more then. 

Jeremy  

So I wanted to give everyone an update on my mom.  Surgery went well and lasted over 6 hours.  When I got there she had just woken up from her nap.  I thought her color looked really good.  The room is extremely hot, about 90 degrees, to keep the blood flowing.  She is really sore and wasn’t too lively.  When we were leaving they were going to have her sit up at the edge of the bed to see how she felt.  If things go well she will be able to leave either on Monday or Tuesday.   I’ll try to get more out of her tomorrow when I am there.  Let me know if you have questions.  I’ll ask her tomorrow.

Jeremy

Have you ever heard that saying? I am beginning to feel like that with my life. First I get cancer, I have surgery, chemo, all the annoying side effects but finally finish with treatment. I looked forward to a life returning to normal. I’m thinking of my reconstruction surgery. But then I have mouth pain, lose the hearing in one ear and I have a nodule in my thyroid and begin a roller coaster ride again with doctor’s appointments, medications and tests. After a diligent thryoid biopsy, they stuck me 8 times, I am now on a wait and check again in 6 months plan since they didn’t get enough tissue to make a definitive diagnosis. The mouth pain I was told was an ENT issue, and then told by my ENT was a dental issue, flared up again last week. I panic since my surgery is fast approaching so I run to a different dentist only to find out that I need a root canal but he won’t do it before my surgery. So he gives me a 5 day supply of antibiotics and I am hoping that my tooth doesn’t flare again before my surgery.

Then I am at work, busily working since I am trying to get things organized so I can be off 6 weeks while I recover from my reconstruction surgery so I can close my chapter on cancer, when I get a call from my ENT. The doctor calls me himself….never a good thing when the doctor calls himself. Remember that MRI I had, just to be sure that nothing was going on…well the good news is I know why I lost the hearing in my one ear. It seems that I have a acoustic neuroma in my ear. What is that you ask? A benign brain tumor. He goes on to tell me that the majority of these are benign and slow growing but he is referring me to a neurosurgeon and a radiation doctor. My acoustic neuroma is small, but at some point, some treatment may be necessary. He feels that for now they will just repeat the MRI again in 6 months to see how much it has grown but I need to see those other physicians since they will be involved in a my treatment. To say I was a little numb after the call would be an understatment. I am having one heck of a lumpy year (lump in my breast, nodule in my thyroid and now a tumor in my ear). I haven’t heard when those appointments with the neurosurgeon and radiation doctor will be but the ENT told me I could go ahead with my surgery….so I am.

Later this morning, I will see my plastic surgeon and finalize all the details for my reconstruction surgery tomorrow. I am very panicky (am I getting signs that I shouldn’t do this). With these latest medical issues, I have decided to leave my mediport in, which the plastic surgeon is okay with. Since I have such an IV phobia, I am prepared to beg my plastic surgeon to let me use my port after my surgery is over (they won’t put me to sleep with it but I hope they can hook it up in recovery). If he gives the okay, then when I see anesthesia I am going to let them know it is okay, then I going to call the manager of the recovery department (I know him since I am having surgery where I work) and going to beg him to have one of his nurses access it in recovery. I think I will get a note from the plastic surgeon just so I can show everybody (in case they don’t believe me).

Tomorrow is my surgery…I have to be in the hospital 4 to 5 days…I pray that everything goes well and my recovery goes smooth….

Here’s where you can help…..you have all been great…..but please send lots of prayers my way….thanks so much….I’ll post again when I can.

Love, Lori

Hard to believe May is over. It was a busy month. I made it through Jaylyn’s high school graduation and the Open House. We had quite a few people stop by and it was great to see everyone! As for me, my hearing did not improve and last Friday I had an MRI with contrast (luckily they were able to use my mediport). Haven’t gotten the results of that yet. I don’t expect it to show anything but the doctor wanted to check. My options for regaining the hearing in my left ear is to wear a hearing aid. I really don’t want to do that but may have to. I am going to give it some more time….I keep thinking that as quickly as my hearing disappeared that it might come back (although the doctor didn’t seem to think it would work that way).

I finally was able to have my thyroid biopsy, which was an experience. They don’t put you to sleep, they did numb the area, but then proceed to insert a needle into my neck (thyroid) to withdraw tissue. They were very diligent and stuck me 8 times! Unfortunately, most of the sticks resulted in only blood and no thyroid tissue…something about the thyroid bleeding…and they weren’t able to get results. After all that, I still don’t know anything. The doctor gave me 3 options….repeat the biopsy (which is what he recommended), surgery to remove the thyroid (diagnose and treat), or wait 6 months and repeat the ultrasound and possibly the biopsy. I opted for option 3…wait 6 months and repeat the ultrasound. I just couldn’t see repeating the biopsy. Worst case…it could be cancer but thyroid cancer is usually slow growing and doesn’t grow outside the thyroid…so I figure in 6 months if it is larger then it may be easier to biopsy.

Next week, is my reconstruction surgery….I have been working on a plan to get something that will block my memory of the IV stick (oral vercette??). I actually talked to the head of the Anesthesia department to see if they would use my mediport to put me to sleep and then stick the IV wherever it needs to be but unfortunately he told me that was a no go…something about safety issues….the thought of an IV stick in my leg is already freaking me out. I can’t imagine what it is going to be like next week.

I’ll post again before my surgery…I don’t know when I be able to post after the surgery, although I imagine Jeremy will post something.

My journey is not quite over so please keep your positive energy, support and encouragement coming my way! Thanks.

Love ya, Lori