Just Me LMJ

Doesn’t that sound good! When this all started last September, I had a total of 18 treatments and now look, I’m two-thirds done. Yeah! I had another decent week, again the weekend was the worst. I slept/dozed most of the afternoon on Saturday, I just couldn’t stay awake. Luckily I have a great hubby who has always been a big helper doing whatever needs to be done (cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.) so that makes the weekends easier on me.

My treatment yesterday went fine. My red count went up…but better and the white count stayed the same. I was able to fall asleep at bedtime but woke up at 3:00 a.m. I still feel tired but my tingling experience and achiness in my legs woke me. I decided to get up and hopefully will be able to return to bed for a short nap before I need to wake up for work.

On Wednesday night, Jaylyn officially sign her Letter of Intent to play softball at a 2 year college about 2 1/2 hours south of us. Her college coach and wife came to the high school for the signing and afterwards we celebrated at the local pizza place. Jaylyn was pretty excited and also glad to have the process over. It is hard to believe she is a senior and will be leaving home in a few months.

On Tuesday Jeff and I went to the plastic surgeon. She was very nice and we were there almost 2 hours. They showed me pictures, tried different implants on me and then took pictures (shoulders down) of me. Did you know that implants are devices and like other devices wear out and will need replaced? Implants last around 10 years…so at my age I would be looking at 2 additional surgeries to replace my implants if I live to age 66. I wasn’t crazy about that you know with my needle phobia but the recovery time is less for implants. Some implants can rupture (like from an airbag deployment) or become hard so they would need to be replaced then.

She felt I would be a candidate for the abdominal TRAM flap surgery although there is another surgeon who does these surgeries. This surgery is where they take the loose skin of your abdomen and tunnel it up underneath to create new breasts. You get a version of a tummy tuck and new breasts. The surgery is a lot more extensive and recovery time is 6 to 8 weeks. I originally liked the idea behind this surgery because you are using your own fat and body tissue and it is something that I wouldn’t need to replace every 10 years. However, since I need two breasts, she wasn’t sure what size my new breasts would be. Now I don’t want to be Dolly Parton or Pamela Anderson but I don’t want to go through all this and barely have anything there (not even be an A size). Plus since it transplanted skin, there is a chance it won’t take and the tissue will die. If that happens, then I would have to have an implant. The biggest concern though is to do this surgery they have to cut your abdomen muscle which makes it weaker. What does that mean? It means that simple things like getting out a chair, or sitting up will be more difficult to do.

So we received lots of information. We do have an appointment with the other surgeon, who does the flap surgery, in a couple of weeks. He will be able to give us more information on if I truly am a candidate, what size I will end up and more on risks. Then I can give all of this more thought.

Well I’m still pretty perky (not sure if that nap will happen) but I think I’ll go give it a try.

Thanks for reading.

Love, Lori

Had a pretty good week last week. Last Thursday and Friday, the steriods had me feeling pretty darn good and I had energy. Seem to be the most achy and tired over the weekend, which is okay. I saw the doctor yesterday before my treatment. Unfortunately, my red count went down (just a little) and the white count stayed the same. I was hoping my red count would continue to go up. During my visit, we asked the doctor how can we tell the chemo is working and found out that we really can’t. He said it was all symptomatic, no blood test available yet. After the treatments are done, they look for persistent symptoms and runs CT scans, etc. to see if anything shows up. So we are basically hitting the cancer hard with all this chemo and hoping that it is all killed. I’m pretty confident this was caught early and all this aggressive chemo is doing its job, but it was still a little bewildering to hear.

When I got to my treatment, Deb, my nurse, offered me a private room with a bed (some just have recliners) and once she started my premeds I pretty much fell asleep. I dozed through my entire treatment but there was a tv in the room so Jeff kept himself occupied.

Dad and Betty fixed my family supper which was a nice treat. As usual, my whole body tingling experience began and I perked up. But much to my surprise, I was able to fall asleep about 12:30 a.m. and today I have not had much spunk (a low energy day). I return to work tomorrow, hopefully with more energy.

I see the plastic surgeon next Tuesday to find out what my options are. No I can’t have reconstruction for a few more months (not before May) but I want to hear the options now and have some time to ponder what I want to do. My cancer doctor told me to talk to people who have had it done. I was leaning towards using my own fat/tissue from other parts of my body just because it is a one time procedure (my understanding is that implants are a longer process) .

So if anyone out there can connect me with people who have had implants or breasts made from their own tissue I’d appreciate it. I’d love to have some information before I see the doctor on Tuesday.

Thanks for your help.

Love, Lori

You know the times you think something has happened to you before….well that is me. I am reliving my weekly treatment nights each week. Yes, here it is past bedtime and I am still up. Well at least I can say the treatment affects are now consistent and predictable. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. As with the past 3 treatments, the hot flashes had occurred with a high frequency tonight. At one point, the sweat had beaded up on many parts of my body so much I thought I had been in a steam room. Jaylyn who isn’t feeling too well, asked me at that point if she felt hot. I told her I wouldn’t be a good judge and then preceeded to have her feel my head. At which point, she immediately drew her hand away and said it was gross. My whole body tingling experience began again and I’m sure it will stay with me until mid-morning.

On a positive note, my red blood count has finally started to rise. It appears my red count booster shots are finally starting to work. It is still low but over a point higher than it has been. My white count actually went up as well. Still low normal but higher than last week.

Since my last treatment, I had a pretty good week. I worked Thursday and Friday and my steroids had me feeling really good on Thursday and even into Friday. I couldn’t believe how good I felt. Saturday I was sluggish. Jaylyn had to get sewing supplies for school so after that her and I went to the mall and just walked. I didn’t walk fast but I thought the exercise would do me good. We weren’t there very long…less than 30 minutes…but some exercise is better than none.

With the drug I am now on, I think the biggest side effect I have is the joint and muscle pain. You know when people are getting sick how their bodies are achy…..that is how I felt over the weekend. I didn’t know if I was coming down with something or if it was the drug. Since I never got sick, I am assuming it is the drug. I also seem to be stiff in my hips. After sitting, it is a little bit hard to get walking but once I get going, I’m okay.

I’m not ready to say the weekly treatments are a breeze but they have been easier. Thanks for all your support and encouragement. You all are helping me get through this experience. Well I’m being a little chatty so I think I will sign off for now.

Only 8 more treatments left!

Love, Lori

Yes, it’s true. www.justmelmj.com has moved again to a new server. Since I started the www.wontstopme.com project it was tedious maintaining both sites. With my mom’s site on the wontstopme server I only have to handle upkeep on one. You can still go to www.justmelmj.com and you will be taken here automatically. This time you shouldn’t get 404 errors or anything else. There are still a few things left to transfer like the breast caner search and my sisters pictures. I will have them moved here in the next few days. Also you will have to be approved to comment again. All that means is when you comment I will have to approve it before it shows up. This is only a one time thing and I am always on my email so it shouldn’t take long for me to approve it. If you have questions please let me know. If you go to wontstopme.com you will see other peoples’ blogs and also see contact info and other things.

Jeremy

Here it is a week later and I am experiencing deja vu. It is past bed time and I am still up. I don’t really see me going to sleep anytime soon. I had my chemo a little later today. Went at 12:45 but still didn’t make it home until a little after 4:00. Actually dozed a little during treatment while listening to my Ipod. Hot flashes have steadily occurred since about 8:00 and the whole body tingling fun started at 10:00. Unfortunately my red blood count didn’t come up but didn’t go down either. However, my white blood counts (ones that fight infections) have dropped. Still in normal range but if they drop as much as they did this past week, the counts will be below normal. So I’ll need to be more prudent about washing my hands and staying clear of being around people who don’t feel well.

This past week the biggest nuisance was my lack of energy and fatique.  Saturday and Sunday were the worst days.  I was able to function but needed to take frequent rests (and naps).  Being up on my feet too long caused light-headedness and overall weak feeling.  I also am experiencing some aching and stiffness in my hands, feet and hips.  Sometimes I walk a little more gingerly but once I get going I’m okay.

Since I am off the nasty drugs and on this new drug, it seems a more tolerable.  However, I was told I would feel good for about 4 weeks and then it would hit me.  Hopefully I was told wrong or whatever hits me won’t be too bad.

Only 9 more treatments!

Love, Lori

Today I had another treatment (well actually yesterday). The benadryl they give me makes me sleepy and zombie like for several hours. Then the tingling of my whole body starts and the steroids (I assume kick in). I took not 1 but 2 of my little sleeping aids thinking I would get some sleep….but no, here it is in the middle of the night and I have yet to go to sleep! I am suppose to go to work later today but at this point I don’t know when I will go to sleep..I guess I’ll go to work and come home when I finally feel sleepy. My tingling should stop by 8 or 9 in the morning so that will be good.

My red blood count dropped again and is the lowest it has been since I started all my treatments. Although not low enough for a transfusion (but it was brought up), they tell me it will be hard to get the counts up since I get weekly treatments. Just about the time they would come up, I get another treatment. We’ll just have to watch and see what happens. They tell me a transfusion would bring my counts up right away and the problem with the shots I get is the shots are alot slower in bringing up the counts. My white count has dropped as well but still in the low normal range. The treatment will bring this count down as well so I’ll have to be more careful about not being around people who are sick.

I hope you all had a great holiday. My side had Christmas at Dad’s last Saturday. It was good to see the family. It was a little strange with Mom not there. Christmas was her favorite holiday. The family didn’t get together last Christmas as it was so soon after her death so as I said it was a little different. Christmas day was great. My children were here. My kids would tell you that I had Grandma syndrome. My mom and dad’s Christmas tree was always packed with presents. I did tend to go overboard a little this year. I told them it was the fault of the Cancer syndrome.

Sara (Jeremy’s girlfriend) brought her Nintendo Wii over and we played it for a few hours. It was a great holiday. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and I wish you all good health and lots of happiness in the new year.

Love, Lori

On Wednesday, I began my new treatment series, 12 weeks of the drug Taxol. Saw the doctor, and red blood count is still down. We talked a few minutes about receiving a blood transfusion but elected against that. Still getting red blood count booster shots so hopeful it will kick in soon and boost my counts.

With Taxol, you can have a reaction while receiving it. I also had to be sure to have a driver because they give me Benadryl, along with other drugs as my pre-meds. I handled the Taxol pretty well. When they began the Taxol, within a couple of minutes, I had a cool, almost misting sensation in my mouth. It was a very weird feeling. The Benadryl made me sleepy. About 10 that night, my whole body began tingling, which lasted about 12 hours. At 3:30 in the morning, the steriods kicked in and I was awake. I couldn’t get back to sleep so I just got up. I wrapped Christmas presents, checked emails, paid bills, played on the computer, etc. I just had a lot of energy. I had a little queasiness but not like the other treatment (so far).

The reaction I have now is my joints in my fingers and feet are red, swollen and sore. I don’t know what a person who has arthritis feels like, but I may have some idea. It hurts to walk and move my fingers. I took Motrin this morning to see if that helps. The doctor told me that pain in the bones and joints was a common side effect. I don’t know if it will get worse or how long it will last. Time will tell. More dragged out today (steriod must be wearing off).
Plan to return to work on Tuesday and then Wednesday another treatment. I can now say I am half way done with my treatments. Only 11 treatments to go.

I’ll try to post again before the holiday but if not, I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas. I want to thank everyone again for all your support and encouragement. You all have helped me through this journey.

Love, Lori

To get in the Christmas spirit I have some Christmas lights synced to music for you all. Since I’m suppose to be the computer guy Sarah wants me to do this to my house when I get it done. I do think they are pretty cool but it might be a little to much work. Check out the videos and see what you think. For the people with slow internet sorry but you probably wont be able to watch the videos unless you are really patient.

http://multimediapcs.blogspot.com/2006/12/christmas-lights-to-music-2006.html

Jeremy

The pictures are now up. Well I missed one but you can see the others. Just click on “Jaylyn’s Senior Pictures” on the right. Then you will see an arrow pointing where to go. I think they turned out great.

Well I am almost there, I had my last nasty drugs treatment on Wednesday. My red blood count didn’t come up and in fact is a little lower so I expect that starting tomorrow (or Sunday) I will be feeling pretty dragged out. I take comfort in knowing that by next Thursday I should be feeling better.

Starting Dec. 20th, I begin my weekly treatments of Taxol, which I have been told should be better. The amount of drugs I have to take will be reduced so that will be nice. Since I am in a clinical trial, I will no longer be getting my Neulasta shot so I will have to be a bit more careful being around people who are sick. Of course, if my white count drops too much, they will start me back on Neulasta. I will continue to get my red blood count boosters though. They told me it would take a couple of shots of the red blood count booster before I felt a difference. Hope it kicks in soon!

I’ll keep you posted.

Love, Lori