Rocket Dog Molly

Yes I know - I have been seriously deliquent AND I need to explain this title!  One night in a round of pre-bed silliness, Andie mumbled something that to my ears sounded like “baked greasies”.  When I asked her what in the world she was talking about, she informed me that what she actually said was “bed crazies”.  At that point she dissolved into a mad fit of giggles.  This has been a running joke ever since   If she wants to catch me off guard she just says baked greasies and we both have a jolly laugh.  Anyway, this past week was a little more unpleasant in terms of post chemo effects.  Developed nausea for the first time this past week in addition to the miserable bone/joint pain.  Was trying to hold out until I went in on Friday to address a prescription to help control it in the future, but by Thursday was having a very difficult time functioning, taking meds etc.  I called them at 8:15 and by 9:05 there was a prescription at Walmart.  They have been so wonderful!  Am feeling much better - the bone pain was gone by Thursday this time and the meds took care of  nausea very quickly.  I’m glad that next time I have that round, I will be better prepared to take care of it early on as the symptoms usually settle down by the following Thursday or Friday.  We got done really early this time - were out by noon.  We had dinner Thursday night in a section of St. Louis called the “Hill”.  It is an Italian neighborhood that has a lot of small grocery stores, bakeries etc.  We decided after I finished the chemo to check out some of the stores and bakeries.  It was really nice to do something fun and not just associate the trip with a round of chemo in the recliner.  We came home with several homemade salamis, Italian bread, a blackberry cobler, a large cherry danish and pre-baked pizza crusts.  The girls had several friends over Saturday night and we did a pizza assembly line, using my Dad’s tried-and-true pizza sauce recipe.  It’s the BEST!!!  Had a lot of fun and it was pretty darn good.  I think we will be stocking up on supplies every time we go now but will have to take a larger cooler!!  Am now just trying to psych myself up for the return to work tomorrow.  Am excited at the prospect of seeing people but am a little nervous about stamina at this point.  I have not really had to sustain any significant amount of energy for hours at a time yet and am a little concerned about how I am going to do.  All I can do is give it my best shot.  At least I have a whole week and a half of pretty good days so am going to be optimistic!!  Am going to make a trial run to Wally-World to test the waters this afternoon so wish me luck.  If I can make it through the eternal wait in line, I should be good to go!!  I just wish it wasn’t going to be so bloody cold tomorrow.  What a rude re-entry that will be!!  See some of you tomorrow!

 Lisa

I know I’ve been AWOL for a while - came down with a bit of a cold last week, became and grandmother again (!!!!!) and have had a lot of little activities (i.e. chauffering) with the girls lately.  Seems like the day goes by really fast for not doing much of anything really.  Have been conserving and preserving myself for the big round of chemo on Friday.  Am looking at coming back to work February 5 (albeit a somewhat diminished shadow of my former self for a little while anyway).  Once I get through this 3 week cycle of chemo, I will be halfway done!!  Only 9 more weeks after that!  Jane - you are awesome! I absolutely loved the hats! So did the girls actually! For the rest of you who have no idea of what I speak, my cousin Jane customized four fleece hats for me. One is black and says “Chemo Diva” which was of course the first one I wore and will match my black rocket dog shoes perfectly. The next one is red and says “Rocket Dog Molly”. Then there is the beige one that says “Bad Hair Day” and finally, the pink one with “I Will Survive”. They are too much fun! Fit perfectly too! Thank you - was a great spirit lifter! Not really too much else going on - go to get blood work done tomorrow and attempt a little wardrobe shopping hopefully as I know next week is pretty much given to be very low key. Will be heading to St. Louis again on Thursday afternoon so will check in when we get back!!

Lisa

Okay - am finally feeling human again!!  Still had the really nasty pains in hips, legs etc. through Thursday night but they seemed to finally be gone Friday morning.  The trip in the morning was smooth - no major accident/traffic jams and we were on our way home by about 1:45.  Don’t know what was up, but was on a major feeding frenzy the last two days.  Lots of snacking!  Maybe was just making up for the last six where nothing really looked or tasted appetizing.  Forgot to take my rasins on the trip and was jones-ing for something a little (but not too) sweet.  Wound up with a bag of strawberry twizzlers from a convenience store which I finished off  last night at about midnight!!  Also big on tapioca pudding, fish and apples lately!!  I have to confess I even indulged in a few green olives last night.  Go figure!  The cravings are extremely odd - kind of like being pregnant!  At any rate, just mainly wanted to say I feel like I am on reprive, I feel pretty darn good and am glad to be back!!  Until next time…..I’ll have mine with a cherry and whipped cream on top thank you!!

Lisa

Hey everyone! Please please forgive the lack of communique recently - have been having very low energy days since getting home Friday night. Have been taking a lot of naps - especially since sleeping at night is extremely difficult with the frequent waking. Have not been doing too much at all really except maintaining. Did have to muster the energy to attend Freshmen orientation last evening but I believe it was a pretty pathetic rally. Just wanted to check in at least a little! Well, I hear a recliner calling me - hope to be back to a little more average steam soon and will try to do a little better about getting on here!!

Lisa

Happy New Year!  Sorry I have been slacking a little - had a few really low energy days and I am not sure why exactly since we had a break from the chemo last Friday.  Guess what I did New Year’s Eve?  Rube had left to do some shopping and I decided to test the hair for the nine millionth time to see if anything was happening yet.  I took a hold of a small bunch on the side and pulled and came out with about 9 or 10 so I decided it was time to deal with it.  Really didn’t want to wait until it was falling all over the place.  Was kind of down that day (low energy, bored and have had a lot of abdominal discomfort for the past week) but I really don’t think it was so much about losing the hair as it was the reality check smack in the face.  Most days you can kind of push things to the back of your mind but this kind of stares you down and says “Okay, this is really real”.  So when Rube got back, we got out the clippers, Andie got the camera and we went for it.  Rube of course made good on his threat to do a mohawk (oh what fun - not really).  I really don’t think I understand the mentality that allows people to choose that hair style. Thank God it was only for a few minutes!!  Andie did a photo documentary of the entire process.  Bless Rube - he tried to make it as fun and silly as possible.  He also offered to shave his, although, in all honesty, it couldn’t be too terribly traumatic since there isn’t much there to begin with!!  I assured him that was not necessary.  It has been nice having everyone home with me for a few days.  Tomorrow will be strange with everyone being gone again and trying to get back into a routine.  I need to get lab work done again and take down some of the Christmas decorations before we leave on Thursday for St. Louis.  Have really been struggling to jump start myself the last few days.  I think once everything kind of settles out of Christmas break mode, I will do better.  I miss having some kind of structure to the day.  Well, obviously the lack of activity hasn’t done too much for my creative thinking either as I feel rather out of anything more to add at this point.  Hopefully will see some of you tomorrow!!

Lisa

Okay, I don’t know what gives but it is day 5 post chemo and I still have my hair. Teach me to be a good Girl Scout! Seriously, I knew there were advantages to not brushing your hair every day!! Not much to report today - am still feeling okay! Have to assume it’s because day 8 treatment is not as heavy duty. I am starting to get rather annoyed though with the bathroom saga as of late. Do really dislike prunes!!! Have considered putting a cot in there except the only one big enough to hold one is the master bathroom and it is like a freezer, no thank you!! I guess I will have to consider it as my aerobics workout for a while!! Hope you all had a Merry Christmas! Will be coming in on Thursday for lab work so will try to stop in and say hey to everyone - I miss you guys!

Lisa

Hi guys!!! I just want to say…..I’m too sexy for my hair, too sexy for my hair!! Went shopping for hair yesterday (sounds really weird to say) but considering most everyone has never ever seen me with any to speak of anyway, it was actually kind of fun! I figure nobody is going to be making a wig that looks like what I had before chemo, so I can go whatever color or style I want since there is no hiding the fact that it is fake. It’s not like the transition will be subtle or anything. I tried on one that looks like Emmylou Harris’ silver-platinum - that was fun. Then there was one that made me look like Dana Carvey’s Garth from Wayne’s World (if I had been wearing black-rimmed glasses anyway - made me want to start singing Bohemian Rhapsody!). Was scary but fun! I found one almost right away that is lighter than my own hair (kind of honey blond highlighted affair) and is cropped short at the neck but has more length on top. I rather like it a lot. Rube kept staring at me with this “I have a brand new wife-like leer”. I was about ready to send him home with our friends down the road for the night. I decided between anesthesia brain and chemo brain, blonder was the way to go. To which of course, Brenna took immediate offense! Anyway, that’s pretty much about it for today. Am feeling good yesterday and today - usual energy level but I know it will only last about another day before it starts waning again. And then there is the anticipated bailing of the hair that I am told will start happening 2 or 3 days post this past chemo treatment. I keep wondering if it would be easier to shave it now rather than wait for the chunks to start falling. Or is it going to be more like a dried out Christmas tree that when you shake it all the needles fall off all at once. HMMMM. These are the kinds of things that go through my mind. Scary isn’t it!! Anyway, I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas (and I do NOT apologize if that isn’t P.C. - too bad!!

“Hair”y Krishna,

“Molly”

Okay - first I am going to put out there that this computer irritates the fire out of me - have been sitting here for five minutes waiting for this post page to load, typed half of this sentence and it has jumped screens several times already.  Anyway - this may be one of these paragraphs that takes me all day to finish depending on my level of patience.  YESTERDAY WAS WONDERFUL!!  We walked in at 8:15, walked back directly to the chemo area and we were on our way home by 12:45 pm.  No offense to Barnes, but it is like comparing apples and oranges, or more aptly, apples and prunes (for which I have an intensifying disgust latetly due to all the gastrointestinal drama as of late!)  The nurse (Lucy) was fantastic - compassionate, attentive and right there for anything (bathroom breaks, making sure I turned over at the appropriate intervals etc.)  We traded information - she gave me a pamphlet about the St. Louis ovarian cancer organization and I gave her info about this website in the hope that it will provide others with an outlet for their journey.  It is amazing how the diagnosis of “irritable bowel syndrome” keeps popping up in conversations.  I think the thing that really kicks my butt is that I even went to the gynecologist at one point convinced that endometriosis might be responsible for all of the gastrointestinal symptoms I have been having FOREVER and I was basically told that those symptoms were not his specialty.  I would love to turn all the misdiagnosed ladies out there loose on him.  One thing Lucy said they are doing is taking some of these patients to talks for first and second year med students (while they are still young, impressionable and NOT JADED) and telling their stories in hopes that when they (the doctors) hear these types of symptoms, they might actually consider doing the testing and pursuing things a little more thoroughly.  I know it matters not now, but I have decided to get all of my office visit notes and H&P’s from my doctor visits just for my knowledge to see just how long this has been punted around.  I know there was a comment in one record I have about irritable bowel type symptoms in 2000.  Hmmm, could the kudzu have been spreading that long?  Who know?  And it really truly makes no difference at this point but it would be interesting to know.  At least I might feel vindicated for all of the frustration and disgust I felt for not being taken seriously enough to do any further testing. There is only so much flippin’ fiber you can ingest after all!! Anyway, I think as the pamphlet said, you have to be aggressive and be your own advocate when you feel something is not right. I truly can say I only really had that feeling maybe over the last year but it has been hard to sort things out (at least as far as energy and strength go) because I felt pretty deconditioned after the two foot surgeries. I mean in that I wasn’t able to be as physically active either due to pain, or orthopedic boots or wheelchairs for that matter, so I felt like I wasn’t up to my usual level of energy but it seemed explainable at the time. I had noticed a decline in my appetite but again it seemed logical when juxtaposed against the decrease in activity level. I guess all I am saying is if you need to, take a electric cattle prod with you to the doctor and don’t be afraid to use it if they are being “namby-pamby” (one of my favorite Boston Legal phrases by the way). I am hoping that we will only have to stay overnight now on day 1 of the chemo cycle (I have to be there to see the doctor at 8:15 am). On day 8, I am scheduled in at 8:30 but I think it would be okay as long as I am there by 9:00 or 9:30 since the intraperitoneal chemo ran in so fast. A large part of that depends on the type of catheter that you have. When she started mine up, she knew right away it would go in really quickly - was rather a rivulet! That way, we can just leave out by about 5:30 am or so and still get there in time. We tried to schedule it out a little later but she said the doctor has to be on site while they are running the chemo and they do not stay there later in the afternoon. Either way, I think we can work this out okay. Will definitely help on the hotel bill! It’s weird though - it is getting to be a little like a home away from home. It is familiar and very comfortable. At least this time they put us on the downtown side of the building. We could see a little of the arch in the morning after all the London fog disappeared! I tried to talk Rube into going to the Galleria Mall on the way home to see all of the Christmas displays - was told by the little lady in the hotel cafe that it truly is beautiful. Given the traffic congestion we saw at that exit, I am glad we bypassed it!! Maybe it will still be up when we go January 5. Rube has decided to leave around 1:00 pm instead of 3 or 4 pm. Thank God! He scares me at 45 MPH on the interstate at times. In his defense though, the trip down this time was horrible. It was foggy, misting or pouring the entire way and there were a kajillion trucks trying to get the last minute deliveries done before Christmas so they were constantly spraying the windshield to the point of zero visibility. On top of that, I had to listen to Celine Dion’s Christmas CD most of the way. Enough said! Help!!!!

Hope you have a wonderful holiday -

Love to you All -

“Molly”

Looks like everything is a go to have the treatment done at Missouri Baptist this time - yeah! I talked to Personalcare and all is good. Also talked to the nurse in the chemo treatment unit at Baptist (she was extremely helpful, explanatory and kind - what a blessing!). It is an outpatient setting with recliners etc., you wear your own clothes (no flippin gowns), and they close at 5:00 pm so they actually have an incentive to get you home the same day! The only drawback is we are scheduled to be there at 8:30 - Rube and I both were of the understanding that the day 8 treatment was a shorter one (?just IV chemo), so we are going to have to stay overnight again tonight. At least we know and can leave early enough to actually get dinner when we get there this time. They are telling me it will be about 5 hours for this treatment (this goes in the abdomen also - just a different drug this time). Will have to re-clarify this with the doctor - but I still haven’t received my chemo “schedule” from them yet so maybe Rube and I both misunderstood. Not too sure about this part. At any rate, regardless of the overnight and the longer treatment, I am absolutely thrilled that we can come home afterwards. I am definitely going to see if there is any way to schedule this a little later (9:30 or 10:00 am for at least the next day 8 treatment) so we can go down in the morning instead. Hopefully this is feasible. I don’t know if there is anything that can be done about day one since there are two different infusions but at least that would only be one night a cycle for a hotel. I think I am feeling a little better today - still achy and yucky but not as extreme as the last two days. Of course now it is time for another round. I was hoping if we did this on Fridays that some of the rough days would be over the weekend in order to conserve strength for work days but there is more of a delay than I anticipated. Being a newbie though, how would ya know? Well, I think that is about all I have for now - need to get a shower and start packing things up. I will most likely check in again before the holidays, but if I don’t I hope you all have a wonderful holiday with your families and friends.

Talk to you soon!
Lisa

Good morning! It’s that time of day again - the girls are gone to school, I can’t go back to sleep, so here I am bending your ears again! Not too much to report today - had onset of joint and leg pain yesterday which still seems to be with me but am doing okay. Feel a little shaky/wobbly on my legs so just taking it slowly. Today is the last day of school before Christmas break so I am enjoying the quiet AND looking forward to seeing a little more of the girls. I feel like things have been such a whirlwind that the time we usually have in the evening seems way too short lately but will make up for that tomorrow. I am certain they are looking forward to lounging about in pajamas as much as I do!! The only problem is trying to figure out what to put on when I do have to go out!! Diana is supposed to get together with me today in preparation of the great hair loss. This should be interesting trying to teach someone with minimal skill/interest in primping with hair accessories to tie scarves and such!! Maybe I’ll just get some big hoop earrings and be Jack Sparrow from “Pirates” for a while - of course that depends on whether I can find a long black curly wig. Sounds like a character that Rocket Dog Molly could hang out with for a while and cause general ruckus. Oh well, I really don’t have much more to add at the moment - am going to start the Personalcare calls soon to see if this Friday will be a little less eventful. Hopefully so. Then I am going to go see if I can muster a little appetite for some breakfast!

Talk to you soon -
Lisa